I would first like to thank you for spending your precious time on reading my selected works for the portfolio. What the class revolve around this semester is writing, I have learned many useful writing skills such as paragraph development, topic sentence and other strategies.
Through a semester’s study, I realize that I am undergoing some changes. I was not very confident in my ability to write before. But after the advanced writing course, I feel it easier to express my ideas in my second language. And further more, the statements I make are better organized and the sentences are more in coherence. . I have been able to develop better thesis statements than I have in past writing classes. And I have been better skilled to demonstrate my thesis with quotations and my own words. Although it is far from being good, I believe it is a good first try. During the development of my essay draft, I spare no effort to look into the story written by Krishnan Varma for deeper meaning.
The submissions are presented in the order of Reading Log, Final Timed-Writing, Essay Draft One, Essay Draft Two, Essay Draft Three and Cover Letter. Reading Log is a first expression of my feeling of the story of “The Grass-Eater”. And it is the reason why I choose this story to work on.
The first problem I meet is the thesis statement. My thesis proposal has been modified for many times as the thesis is neither specific nor strong enough. Mr. Corio’s comments on my draft two help me realize that my thesis statement is not strong enough, so I trimmed it in a more “assertive” way with the same meaning. Although there are many matters coming forth during the analysis of the thesis statement, I persist with my thesis from the beginning and it is quite a triumph to me.
“Draft One” is rough draft of my essay and it is just a combination of dribs and drabs of my idea. After the first peer-review, I took some advice of my partners. The changes can be seen in “Draft Two”. The structure of my essay has been changed somewhat. I have reorganized my arrangement of paragraphs and made some modifications about the quotations. For example, the order of paragraphs in the introduction part has been reversed as it is more in coherence. As introducing quotes plays a major role in helping the reader understand ideas and comments, I try my best to make the citations as exact as possible and make more explanation of my thesis statement in my own words. Since “Draft Three” is the final version of my essay, I paid much attention to the spelling mistakes and other minor grammatical errors. Furthermore, I enrich my demonstration with some religion evidence.
Through the Academic Writing Course, I learn the proper way to write an essay. And I deeply feel that a good paper will not be the first draft. Every time I read my essay, I will find some minor errors in it. However, anything can not be perfect. What I can do is to polish it for perfection. After all, I must thank my instructor Mr. Corio and my partners in the peer group, they gave me very useful and specific suggestions during the essay development.
Thank you for reading my papers on the portfolio, I hope that you will enjoy the reading. All comments either agreements or disagreements are welcome.
Oley Huang
June 21, 2007
Draft Three
More optimism, more happiness
The life of the poorest people in the author Krishnan Varma’s country of the 1980s is not an easy one. Varma shares his observations of the poor people’s life in many of his stories. In India, many people hold a religion called “Hinduism”. It is a philosophy characterized by a belief in reincarnation: the transfer of the soul into another body after death. For example, if a person leads a good life, the soul will be born into a higher state. (56) The characters in the story are Hindus. And this may have affected their attitudes toward life.
In the story of “The Grass-Eaters”, Varma seeks to show readers that how and why could a poor couple who lived in a pipe enjoy their life. Ajit Babu is not only the character but also the narrator in this story. And it is through his perspective that we learn what kind of life he had experienced. Instead of feeling sad and frustrated, they had no fears or anxieties after they had experienced the events in their life. Through the whole story Babu and his wife Swapna are presented as a fortunate couple who have moved their home for three times and at last are content with their grass-eating life. Through the whole story, we can come to the conclusion that they enjoy their life because they treat it in a positive way with optimism.
As mentioned before, Babu and Swapna are Hindus. They hold a belief that if a person leads a good life, the soul will be born into a higher state. What is the meaning of a good life? The answer to the question alters with people. Is it a life with luxurious entertainment or plenty of goods for eating and wearing? In my opinion, a good life is a life in which people live with happiness and contentment no matter how poor or rich they are. It is not dependent on the richness of substance, but on the attitude toward life and the way people treat it. In most circumstances, Babu and Swapna have made every action positive enough to deal with the events and to make life a better one for the next reincarnation. Hinduism, to a large extent, has influenced their values of life and molded them into optimistic and positive men.
Babu and Swapna’s optimism which gave them a happy life can be seen through several parts. Instead of feeling fearful or anxious, they are not only content with the passing scenes but also quiet about the current life.
First of all, they always think of something better than the past. At the beginning of the story, the family of a spherical boy felt unbelievable that Babu and his wife lived in a pipe. But Babu felt good. “With a piece of sack cloth hung at either end, we had found it far more comfortable than any of our previous homes.”(56) This is something that the author wants to show us. Generally, people will feel distressed if their home is just a pipe. In contrast, Babu and his wife feel it more comfortable than their previous homes. They do not complain about the poverty of life. And instead, they just feel content with the situation. There are several split narrations which show the couple’s optimism. When the couple moves to where they live now, Babu says that it is not as bad as it sounds. It is flat, not gabled, and it is made of cement concrete, not corrugated iron sheets. This clearly reveals that Babu’s positive attitude toward life. “Flat” is better than “gabled”; cement is better than “iron sheets”. Babu does not complain about the current living condition and he shows a kind of contentment with his lot.
Other evidence can be found during the time when they survive of the footpath and move into an abandoned-looking freight wagon at the railway terminus. “A whole wagon to ourselves—place with doors which could be opened and shut—we did nothing but open and shut them for a full hour—all the privacy a man and wife could want—no fear of waking up with a complete stranger in your arms…it was heaven. I felt I was God.” (57)This narration describes Babu and Swapna as a fortunate couple who enjoy their private acres of space. Although they are in an abandoned wagon, they feel it is heaven as they are the owner of it and they have all the privacy. The sentence “I felt I was God” is a strong evidence of the optimism that lead to a happy life.
Although some people think that there is a kind of despair under Babu’s optimism, I believe that Babu and his wife have tried their best to overcome the events which might have deprived their lives. Is there anything else Babu and his wife could hope for? They have made the most deeply understanding of the motto—only the strong survive. A less rent than other tenants or far more light and ventilation than their neighbors might be all the things they could expect for the life. Under that kind of status quo, I believe optimism can be the most effective cardiac for the poor. Maybe, the most suitable conclusion is a modification of the motto, mentioned above. That is, only the positive survive.Work Cited
Varma, Krishnan. “The Grass-Eaters.” 1985. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction.
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Oley
June 21, 2007
Timed-Writing Three
Directions: From The Necklace, what might have been the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life if she had not lost the necklace? Is her life better or worse now?
What might have Mme. Loisel’s life been if she had not lost the necklace? This is a question I have asked myself for many times. I think her life would be better if she had not lost the necklace.
Without the pressure of paying the refunds, she had more free time to make her life better of rather than doing some works for the usury. For example, from the beginning of the story, Mme. Loisel’s life is described as a cozy one despite of her insatiability for life. She has a husband who treasures her very much. Although they do not have much money, the life is comfortable. Every time she went home, servants will do all the housework for her. The meal is rich and already prepared, the clothes are washed by the servants, and the time is free.
Free time is very important for one’s life. As mentioned before, the life style is quite a contrast with that after she lost the necklace. When they have to pay the usury, the couple has to send the servants away and everything be done on their own. Mme. Loisel becomes a woman who is always bargaining with the peddlers even sometimes roaring. Her dream used to be that being an elegant lady who is admired by all women in upper-class. Now she must set the dream aside along with her dignity. She has to pay the large amount of money. She has no freedom. I think the life will be better if she had not lost the necklace.
Furthermore, what might have the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life been? The quality of one’s life is very subjective. If she still regards her birth in a family of clerks as a mistake of destiny and think that she should be married with a rich and distinguished man, her life will be no difference. The contentment with life is the key to a better quality of life. Supposing a woman who expects for what she will not have and does not take care of what she has, will the quality of her life be a good one? Even if she had not lost the necklace, she would still a fancy of luxury. Everything in her life will remind her of the dream. I think the quality of her life will not change.
The characters’ eventful life really leaves me a deep impression after reading the whole story. And I appreciate the characters’ optimistic attitude to the life. It seems that the events which were not always pleasant are now a great treasure for them.
“The woman very nearly scratched out my eyes. Then came Swapna, fangs bared, claws out…I survived, but minus one ear. Next came the woman’s husband, a hill of a man, whirling a tree over his head, roaring. That was my impression, anyway. I fled.” I was not only shocked but also moved by the their strong will to survive.
Despite the loss of one ear due to the woman’s scratch and the single leg after a fall from the roof of a tram, the man came to the conclusion that “And now, we have no fears or anxieties.” It reminds me of a saying that only the strong survive. Once you are determined to struggle with life, you are the winner because the sweet comprises the sorrow.
I am not a Hindus as the characters in the story do. I think the characters’ souls will be born into a higher state as they are content with their life.